


Happy memories

by aishiterumo



Series: Reminiscing [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han are Best Friends, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mention of alcohol, Mention of sex, Past Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Past Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix - Freeform, Past Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Past Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25923376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiterumo/pseuds/aishiterumo
Summary: Jisung is still reminiscing his past relationships, even getting lost in them.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: Reminiscing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881217
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	Happy memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This work is the following story of "Half-empty cup", however, it can be read on it's own! I hope you'll like it.

“ _It’s not even that hard, just put one foot in front of the other, Jisung_ ,” Chan says between two laughs. Still, he holds Jisung with one arm around his shoulder, giggling as the younger boy grumbles an insult he can’t even comprehend. “ _You shouldn’t have drink this much if you can’t handle it_.” Jisung suddenly alts, pointing an accusing finger at Chan.

“ _I’s your fault! That I—_ ” He stops talking, looking up to the night sky and starts giggling to himself. “ _Y’know me, al’ays drinks too much_.”

The older looks up to the night sky, in the same direction as his friend, holding him a bit closer. He sighs a bit, nodding at the boy’s words; “ _I do, indeed. Let’s get you home, ok?_ ” And just like that, Jisung accepts to walk again and they finally arrive at their destination.

Struggling to type down the passcode to open his door, Chan whooshes his hand away to type it instead, chuckling at the grumpy Jisung next to him. He pushes the door and takes a step inside, helping the other to remove his shoes. “ _You should get some water and head to bed_ ,” he says as Jisung walks inside of his apartment. Chan stays in front of the door, his shoes still on and ready to leave now that his friend was safely home.

“ _Stay here_ ,” Jisung manages to mumble as he turns around to look at his friend. He almost falls as he turned a bit too fast for his drunken state. It makes Chan laugh but still accept the offer, removing his shoes, closing the door and helping the other boy to the kitchen. He smelled like the alcohol and stew they had not even an hour before.

Not long after, they found themselves lying on Jisung’s bed. The younger had his head on Chan’s chest, staring at his ceiling.

“ _You know what ‘t reminds me?_ ” the younger suddenly says, a bit too high for his neighbours’ liking. Chan puts his index finger on top of his lips to shush him.

“ _Stop speaking that loud and tell me_.”

Jisung clears his throat and, once again, is gone to his memories.

***

When Jisung had started to date Minho, it wasn’t a good timing in his life. In the span of three years and a half, he had broken up three times already. His first breakup was with Hyunjin, they dated for a year and a half before falling apart—Jisung was still petty about that girl Hyunjin left him for. Then, he had dated his former best friend, Felix. It had been two beautiful years of his life, even if Felix’s possessive and jealous behaviour had hurt them in the process. He was still thankful he got to meet Chan through Felix, that they grew closer and were now best friend. Without really taking the time to heal from his broken heart, he dated Jeongin. The boy was a year younger, they met by accident in the university’s cafeteria. Jisung had bumped into him as he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings, he started to apologize when the younger boy told him he’d only forgive him if he took him out on a date. A bit too numb inside to really process the words, he said yes. A few days later he ended up sitting in a restaurant, opposite Jeongin, without really understanding how he had ended up here. Still, he took the time to get to know him, mostly to distract himself from the fact he had lost his best friend simply because he dated him.

They then dated, if _that_ was called dating. Sure, they called each other _boyfriend_ and pet names. Sure, they kissed when they were together. Sure, they went on dates, every once in a while, when Jeongin wasn’t too busy studying. Jisung was too busy sinking in his own regrets to really see how his relationship was pointless. Did he love Jeongin? No, that wasn’t love. It was a fun distraction, but it wasn’t love. The boy was sweet, nice even. He still remembers how childlike he was. “ _I haven’t really kissed anyone yet_ ,” Jeongin had said, a giggling mess trapped inside Jisung’s arms. “ _Are you ok with me kissing you?_ ” Even if they were joking around, even if he was smiling while confessing this part of him, Jisung still wanted to make sure he wasn’t taking advantage of him. The younger nodded, looking at his boyfriend in the eyes. There were sparkles inside of it. It reminded him of Felix, and Hyunjin at the beginning. He felt loved, so damn loved. He closed his eyes and kissed Jeongin like he was kissing the love of his life. It for sure wasn’t Jeongin. Still, he kissed him and smiled against his lips, holding him closer and closer. The other kept on giggling like a kid in their embrace, even hours after. He was just a kid, in the end.

Just like he had taken his real first kiss, Jisung ended up taking quite a lot of his firsts. First date—which he didn’t even intended to take in the first place—, first pillow fight, first movie marathon… small things Jisung had taken for granted but that made Jeongin the happiest _kid_ in the world. He almost took his first time, yet knowing his lack of love for the boy, he felt too guilty and stopped everything before it went too far. Jeongin never questioned it, thinking it was _just too soon_ in their relationship. And finally, he ended up taking his first heart break. Around five months of dating, it wasn’t possible to go on any further for him. He sat Jeongin down in a restaurant, and he told him the truth. How hard it was to actually see each other, mostly because the other was _always too busy_ , and that whenever they did, there simply was no feelings sparkling inside of him. Jeongin simply nodded, said he understood, and that was it. They broke up and none of them cried.

***

“ _Jisung, what has that even have to do with now? And why were you talking about Minho at the beginning? Did you get lost in your own mind?_ ” Chan chuckles, making the other’s head jump a bit as he was still lying on top of him. It was already hard enough to understand Jisung’s words, it was simply harder to follow his story as he kept on going into another topic.

Jisung titters before holding his index finger up in the air, indicating that Chan needed to keep quiet.

***

Minho wasn’t a stranger. Jisung had actually seen him quite a few times while hanging out with Chan. The two older boys were friends since high school, so, it was a bit hard for Jisung to fit in. Most of the time, he’d stay out of their conversations, give them space as he found himself forgotten in whatever they were saying. He didn’t feel welcomed. Was it for the way Minho always looked at him with furrowed eyebrows? Or how he’d never greet him hello? It was all those little details that assured Jisung that Minho hated him, until he proved him wrong.

After breaking up with Jeongin, Jisung found himself being sulky again. Not because he was heartbroken and wanted the younger boy back, but because he kept on reminiscing everything that he had done wrong since his relationship with Hyunjin up until Jeongin; everything hurt too much. He left his dorm room—which luckily wasn’t shared with Felix anymore but with a boy who was almost never there—and walked all the way to Chan’s building. He tried to stay alert, as he was walking in the streets around their campus, cars driving fast and people never looking where they walked. In one piece, he typed Chan’s building’s code and walked all the way to the elevator, not feeling like climbing the stairs up to the sixth floor. When the elevator ding-ed, Jisung automatically stepped out of it, not even aware he was already moving towards the older’s door. Despite knowing his door’s passcode, he knocked. However, he wasn’t met with Chan’s pleasant and reassuring face, but with Minho’s annoyed one. He felt like crying, and maybe he did, wondering why his best friend wasn’t home, if he had gone to the wrong apartment, or just what was happening in his life to feel so hopeless. It took Minho off-guard; “ _Chan left to buy groceries, is everything ok?_ ”

***

“ _I **know** how you two became friends, Jisung_,” Chan fakes an annoyed tone, his fingers combing the other’s hair. “ _I literally came home to see you two cuddling on top of my own bed._ ” Jisung starts to giggle at the memory.

“ _He was—He’s just—oh, he’s so soft. H’smells so good, too_.”

“ _Oh please, can’t you go back on topic? What did you want to say at the beginning? You said it reminded you of something_ ,” Chan tries to put him back on topic, for the nth time.

“ _Oh, yeah! Right,_ ” he titters again, sitting up in the middle of the bed, his back facing Chan as he stares at the wall.

***

Even if it sounded really cliché, after seeing him cry for the first time, Minho became nicer to Jisung. He stopped glaring at him, excluding him, or even ignoring him. Since that day, Minho was almost always the one to go talk to Jisung. It gave the boy a fake sense of being cared for, tricked him into thinking he felt things for him. He felt safe around Minho, even told Chan about it, who encouraged him to tell him the truth. Jisung did follow this advice. He came all the way to Minho’s classroom, waited for him to get out and tell him how he felt. Maybe it was the public environment that pushed Minho into accepting his feelings, or maybe he was simply lost just like him, yet he simply told Jisung he felt the same and they _hugged_ , in the middle of the hallway, other students staring at them—with either disgust, joy or jealousy. Jisung was too preoccupied with his head buried against the other’s chest to see how he was looking for someone with all his might.

The same way he had started dating Jeongin without thinking much of it, he dated Minho with a false idea of himself. Still, it was easy. Everything was easy with Minho. They went on all sorts of dates; picnic dates, restaurant dates, movie dates, stay-in dates, road trip dates… It was always fun to be around him. One advantage from dating Minho was how good of a kisser and cuddler he was. It was like dating Hyunjin and Felix at the same time. His lips were soft, his tongue was always dancing so gracefully in his mouth, and his strong arms held him safely against his chest and it always felt like resting on a cotton candy cloud. Minho was softness and kindness wrapped in one person. He always looked after Jisung, gave him pretty gifts, took good care of him. Jisung did too. He wanted to be _the perfect boyfriend_. He tried his best. Chan always told them how pretty of a couple they made, how good they looked together, and Jisung was always way too happy to witness how Minho’s smile never reached his eyes.

***

“ _You’re going off-topic again, Jisung_ ,” Chan whisper-yells as Jisung keeps on talking about how perfect they looked to other people. He can’t help but laughs when the boy jumps on top of his stomach, shushing him while failing to put his index finger on top of his lips. Staring at him with kind eyes, he wraps both of his arms around his waist, steadying him a bit more. Jisung once again giggles, a bit too close to his face that he can smell all the alcohol he drank; “ _You tickling me!_ ” he says in a way higher-pitch than usual, not sober enough to construct a correct sentence.

Chan removes his hand from his sides, still looking at him with fond eyes. The other boy closes his eyes for a moment before exhaling loudly and speaking again; “ _I just really—I thought he’d love me forever, that I could lov’ him back a’ some point_.” Chan hums, so that he continues talking.

***

Jisung was so sure of himself that he could love Minho. Maybe that’s why he ended up going to his apartment at two in the morning, pinning him against the wall while tongue-kissing him and breathing heavily. Maybe it was to convince himself he loved Minho, that he ended up asking him to sleep with him. The reason why Minho agreed? Not yet found, but he did. He agreed and Jisung ended up having the best sex he ever had in his life. Hyunjin was his first, and as precious as the memory was to him, he really had to admit that it wasn’t _that_ good. Hyunjin was always talking too much and moving too less. As for Felix, well, he was his best friend and sleeping with him always felt weird at first, but then, it was always so sweet. Jisung always felt so loved when Felix held him and looked at him with so much love in his eyes. Even if Felix was always on the receiving hand, it always felt like he was the one giving all of his love to Jisung. And there he was, with Minho, experiencing a whole new world.

It wasn’t soft, nor was it rough. He didn’t talk as much as Hyunjin did, but still kept on complimenting him, praising him, but most importantly, he kept on moaning against Jisung’s ears and it was the most beautiful melody he had ever heard. And, well, Jisung hadn’t _received_ since the last time him and Hyunjin had sex, and _damn_ it felt good to do it again.

***

“ _Oh god, please. I don’t want the full details!_ ” Putting his hands on his ears, Chan laughs as he can still decipher Jisung heavily describing the positions him and Minho preferred to use while having sex. “ _Please, stop and go back to your story_ ,” he pleads which makes Jisung laughs. The younger lays his head against his chest, closing his eyes and taking his hands in his to intertwine their fingers.

***

It was an eventful year for Jisung. Mostly because half-way through dating Minho, they both realized their true feelings.

Jisung woke up one day in Minho’s arms, their bare chests sticking a bit to each other. He moved a bit to look at his boyfriend’s face, caressing his cheek with his fingertips. Minho was attractive, he really was. His kisses were divine, having sex with him was heavenly. He was always listening to him and they never fought. Still, looking at his most vulnerable state, he didn’t feel anything. His stomach wasn’t filled with butterflies, his head wasn’t full of fireworks and his heart wasn’t jumping up and down with happiness. He was just… there. He was simply staring at a boy he shared his life with, with whom he had had sex the previous night, whom he could kiss as much as he wanted… but not whom he loved. Feeling Minho moving underneath him, Jisung panicked and closed his eyes again, feigning being asleep.

The same way he had just did, he felt Minho’s fingertips against his cheek, then moving to put a strand of hair behind his ear, his hands sliding along his shoulder, then his arm. He could hear Minho’s heartbeat; it wasn’t going crazy, just like his. He heard Minho whispering; “ _I’m not in love with you_.” His heart didn’t break, he felt relieved. Maybe too much, as he opened his eyes immediately as he heard the words leaving his mouth, staring at the boy who panicked and fell into a pit of meaningless apologies. Jisung laughed, lifting himself with his arm to kiss his boyfriend with more happiness than he had done since they first started to date. “ _I’m so damn relieved, you can’t even imagine! I felt so bad when I realized I didn’t love you_ ,” his voice was way too high considering his words. Minho laughed along with him, hugging him tighter than ever. They didn’t break up, though. They actually hugged each other for a long time, caressing each other’s hairs as they talked about how they really felt.

“ _I think I’m just not over my previous break ups_ ,” Jisung stated, his fingers creating knots in Minho’s hair by accident.

“ _I actually love someone else_ ,” Minho answered, as if it made the whole situation better.

“ _Oh, really?_ ” Jisung got up a bit from his chest, looking at his face with interest. “ _Who? Maybe I can help_.”

“ _You… You know him. That’s, I guess, part of why I accepted to date you? I just never thought we’d last this long_.”

“ _I know him? Oh well, first it’s a him. So, you’re not straight. I mean, you’re still attracted to men._ ” Minho arched one of his eyebrows, confused by Jisung’s words. “ _Since Hyunjin left me to go with a girl I—I got some trust-issues, I guess? I thought you were going to do the same to me_.” Minho cooed a bit, pulling him into a hug as he kissed his forehead.

“ _Oh, no, Sungie, don’t worry. I’m very much into men, I mean, who wouldn’t want a dick?_ ” His voice was way too innocent, which made Jisung laugh and hit his chest playfully.

“ _Still, tell me. Who is it?_ ”

“ _Kim Seungmin_.” Minho’s voice was low, a clear indicator that he was aware of how triggering the name must have been for Jisung. As if it helped, he hugged Jisung again, caressing his hair and was ready to kiss his forehead and whispers calming words into his ears. However, Jisung gulped loudly, closed his eyes as tight as he could, and smiled as he kissed the palm of Minho’s hands he had taken off of his hair.

“ _Oh, I see. Wanna make him jealous, baby?_ ”

Seungmin was Hyunjin’s best friend. The two boys knew each other since they were five years old, needless to say they were inseparable at this point in life. Jisung had met him quite a few times, however he had only really got to know him during the vacation him and Hyunjin had organized for their one-year anniversary. They had invited all of their friends, meaning that both Felix and Seungmin were there. They had done lots of activities, shared stories, befriended each other. And, as normal as it sounds, when Hyunjin and him broke up, he lost contact with all the friends he had made from Hyunjin’s side, Seungmin included. He wasn’t _that_ sad about it, as he had other friends of his own, he just never expected he’d have to talk to the boy again, to set him up with his boyfriend.

***

“ _Jisung, you’re getting off-topic, once again!_ ” Chan growls, seemingly annoyed.

A lot more sober now, Jisung realizes his mistake and apologizes, taking both of Chan’s hands in his to kiss their palm in loud smooching noise. “ _To be fair, I don’t ev’n know why this conv’sation started_.”

Not able to hold back any longer, Chan giggles at the tickling of Jisung’s kisses on his hands. “ _Well, you laid down on me and told me it reminded you about something. And I’m pretty sure that something isn’t about how you set up Minho and Seungmin together_.” They both laugh as the idea sounded pretty crazy, if it hadn’t been the truth.

“ _It took s’damn long!_ ” Losing track once again, Jisung rolls from Chan’s body to the side of the bed, fumbling through his belongings and getting his phone out, showing it to Chan.

“ _What?_ ” the boy questions, his brows furrowed in incomprehension. It makes Jisung giggles as he searches for something in his phone. After a few seconds, he turns his screen towards the other boy. His message conversation with Minho on full display.

**Mon 2 Jun** at 3:13 PM

**Thanks again for helping me with Seungmin!**

It’s nothing, hehe. Glad I could help

 **Fri 5 Jun** at 11:45 AM

Hey Minho! How’s it going with Seungmin?

 **Sat 6 Jun** at 10:32 PM

**Going well, we went on a date.**

**Sorry if it sounds rude, but I’m just glad we finally broke up**

It’s fine, don’t worry! Glad you found each other!

 **Wed 17 Jun** at 3:01 PM

**Heyyyyyy Sungie!!!!! Miss you man**

**Thu 18 Jun** at 1:29 AM

Miss you too

 **Fri 3 Jul** at 11:00 PM

**How you doing? We should hang out sometimes**

**Thu 9 Jul** at 3:15 PM

Definitely!

 **Mon 13 Jul** at 11:22 AM

**Hey Sungie, I have a friend who’s interested in you**

**Mon 13 Jul** at 8:41 PM

Ok and??

 **Fri 24 Jul** at 2:31 AM

**Wanna go on a date with them?**

**Wed 29 Jul** at 4:06 PM

Why not?

“ _I’m even more confused, what am I supposed to look at?_ ” Chan asks, taking Jisung’s phone in his hand and reading the last few texts again and again before looking at Jisung in the eyes.

“ _Well, ‘said he’s happy with him,_ ” Jisung points at one message, not even knowing if it was the right one. “ _Took six months! But he did it,_ ” he giggles, taking his phone back and locking it before tossing it on the side. Chan stares at him, perplexed.

“ _Well, he mostly said he missed you while sounding extremely drunk and then took almost a month to text back. You told me you two stayed friends?_ ” His intonation was questioning yet he looked like he knew it was all a lie. Jisung dodges the question, lying down again against his chest.

“ _You’re soft_ ,” he whispers against his T-shirt. It makes Chan coo at him for the nth time this night. His hand gets lost in his hair, again.

“ _My T-shirt is soft, you mean_.”

“ _Nooooooo!_ ” Jisung lifts Chan’s top just enough for his hand to slide underneath, resting on his bare chest. “ _You’re soft._ ”

“ _You still didn’t tell me what started all of this conversation_ ,” the older boy stammers, trying to forget about the hand on his chest.

“ _Oh, yes! You right!_ ”

***

When he was dating Minho, there was this one habit they had both taken. It was Jisung’s favourite part of the day. They were all university students, living in dorms room. However, none of them lived in the same dorm building, and none of them had the same apartment and privileges. Jisung had a small apartment with two bedrooms—one for himself and one for his roommate—with only one other room where a small kitchen and a tiny living-room were fighting for space. Minho, him, had a bigger apartment. A proper living-room with a proper kitchen and a table to eat. Two reasonable bedrooms, and first and foremost, he had a balcony. It wasn’t big, just enough to put a small table and a deck chair. Often, Jisung would come to Minho’s place at night and they’d put all the furniture on the balcony on one side, leaving enough space to put down a blanket so they could lay down on it. Minho would always be the one of the floor, Jisung right next to him with his head resting on his chest as they stared at the night sky, counting the stars and sharing stories.

***

“ _Did you—Did you really start all of this, just for that?_ ”

“ _Well, yes?_ ” Jisung’s voice was small. He felt idiot. It was one of his dearest memory, and Chan’s reaction made him feel stupid to hold it so close to his heart. “ _’m sorry, ‘m just tired._ ” He tries to find an excuse, hiding his face against the other’s T-shirt.

Chan’s hand finds its way back in his hair, caressing it softly. “ _I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that_ ,” he stops talking for a second, hearing noises coming from the apartment next door. They both giggle, wondering if they were the one being too loud. “ _I know how much you love the stars_ ,” he continues in a lower voice, “ _I just thought it’d be something else. But I’m glad it reminded you of a happy memory_.” He holds Jisung a bit closer to him, kissing the top of his head. “ _You should try to sleep, Jisung. It’s getting late_.”

Jisung hums, removing his hand from underneath the other’s T-shirt, rolling on the side and sitting cross-legged on the bed. Before Chan could ask what he was doing, he gets rid of his own T-shirt, throwing it somewhere in his room he doesn’t even bother looking at, his pants getting the same treatment before lying down again next to his best friend, curling up in a ball and falling asleep almost as soon as he closes his eyes. Chan was staring at him the entire time, looking as his back muscle moved at each movement, how his legs almost entirely disappeared against his body just so that only his feet were sticking out, making him look even smaller than he already was. Chan smiles, caressing his cheek just enough to make the sleeping boy scrunch his nose.

The older boy gets up from the bed, opening the bedroom’s door as silently as he could, walking all the way to the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator, taking a bottle of cold water out and pouring himself a glass. He hears footsteps from behind him. Knowing It was Jisung’s roommate, he stays in front of the refrigerator, drinking from his glass of water.

“ _When are you going to tell him?_ ” the other boy’s voice is loud enough for Chan to hear him, yet not enough to wake Jisung up.

“ _I’m not going to, Changbin. Neither are you_ ,” Chan puts the bottle back in the refrigerator, closes it, puts his empty glass in the sink and then turns around to face the younger and smaller boy in front of him. He gives him a big yet forced smile before leaving the kitchen.

“ _Well, if you prefer loving him in secret, that’s your own problem, I guess_ ,” Changbin’s voice echoed in his head as he goes back to Jisung’s room, taking his clothes off to join his best friend in his bed and hopefully fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> find more work on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/softflowermin) :]  
> you can also ask question related to my works on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/softflowermin)!


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